Sugar, Sugar Everywhere

One of our holiday traditions is making about 1,324,987 kinds of cookies. Okay, maybe not quite that many - more like half a dozen - but at this time a year it certainly seems like it. The problem is, they're all good, yummy, tempting and not exactly what a fat girl trying to lose weight should be eating.

I've actually been pretty good with the cookies this year - I'm enjoying them, but not eating too many. It's not just the cookies, however - there's fudge, too, and we all got chocolate candy in our stockings (I admit, part of that is my fault, but Ghiradelli comes out with pecan pie and peppermint bark flavored squares this time of year and I can't resist). Plus, there's the chocolate cheesecake my sister made for Christmas Eve dinner and the trifle - with homemade custard - she made for Christmas Day dinner (no, my sister's name is not Martha).

The same thing happens every year between Christmas and New Year's - this is the point where I get sugared-out. I seriously think if I eat one more cookie I'm going to go into a diabetic coma. But then my mom says to me yesterday, "You're not eating any of the butter nut balls. I left the powdered sugar off just for you." Guilt! She and my father do this all the time!

My dad has a major sweet tooth and has a frequent shopper card from Entenmann's. He knows I like their crumb cake, so he buys it for me -without me asking him to, by the way - then gets angry when I don't eat it. No matter how many times I tell my family that I am trying to stay away from stuff like that, as best I can, they keep pushing it on me, then make me feel like a bad daughter when I don't eat it. And the kicker is, last month my dad said to me, "You'd better start losing some of that weight." WHAT?!?

I've already informed my mother that I'm going to start eating healthy and clean (I'm not calling it a diet - it's a lifestyle) after the new year and to not be offended when I turn down her fried chicken. But asking my dad not to buy baked goods is an exercise in futility. I'll just give them back to my mom. My dad will be none the wiser.

Reality Bites

Okay, I know it's been for-freaking-ever since I posted. I mean, I was only in Traverse City for four days, but I haven't posted in three months. Ugh. I have fallen so far off the fitness wagon that I can't even see it anymore. But now that it's post-Christmas and New Year's is just around the corner, it's time to re-commit to my programme and get back on track.

My renewed vigor didn't come out of the blue - it had an impetus. I was Christmas shopping at Nordstrom and had to go to the ladies room. If you've ever been in the bathrooms at Nordstrom you know they're very posh - there are two rooms, basically, a "lounge" area with upholstered chairs and a sofa, and a "stall room" with the toilets. At the far end of the stall room, there is a full-length mirror. I walked into the stall room and saw my full-length image from about a 15-foot distance.

It stopped me dead in my tracks. I walked out of the house that morning feeling kind of cute. I was wearing a gray and white long sleeve t-shirt, a black hooded sweatshirt, jeans and Crocs. My reflection, however, looked anything but cute. I looked like a tired, overweight, middle-aged mom. Sigh.

That's not what I want to look like. I looked heavier than I thought I was. My cute "pob" haircut made me look older than I am. I was not happy with how I looked. At all. It was quite a shock.

So, the holiday feeding frenzy is nearly over, and a new year is almost upon us, bringing with it new hopes. I'm going to let myself enjoy the rest of the holiday season and then I'm getting serious. In fact, I will probably have next Friday off work, and I'm already planning a grocery shopping trip to get all kinds of natural, healthy foods for myself.

And I'm growing my hair out.

Hitting the road...

Tomorrow morning I'm heading to Traverse City for Red Wings Training Camp!! I'm kind of nervous because I'm driving alone - I've never driven that far by myself before, because the only time I drive that far is when I'm going on vacation and I don't go on vacation alone. But I'll be meeting lots of friends up there, so it's all good!

Needless to say, the diet is getting suspended until Tuesday. I haven't been able to exercise at all because my ankle is still sore and now my left heel has started to hurt, like it used to when I had heel spurs. Ugh! I'm falling apart.

But when I get back I'm really going to be getting on track again! I want to go to Toronto for Stevie's HOF induction in November 2009 and I don't want to go looking like this!

I will blog about my adventures when I get back...maybe I'll get the chance to have coffee with Chris Chelios this time!

Still Frustrated...

It's been a week since I sprained my ankle and I'm still limping. Not as badly as I had up until today, but it still hurts and I can't walk normally yet. So exercising is out.

I can at least get around, though, unlike last weekend where I just sat around with my foot elevated on pillows, avoiding walking unless I absolutely had to...like having to pee.

So my guess is, I won't be able to start exercising until sometime next week. That'll be two weeks without any exercise. The miniscule amount of momentum I built up before I sprained my ankle is gone.

Ow.

Whoops!

Well, two weeks in and I'm doing so-so. I don't think I've lost any weight, though. I've done some exercising, but as of yesterday I was forced to lay off it for at least a week - I tripped on some uneven concrete and severely sprained my ankle. It's not very swollen but it's really sore and painful. I've been sitting with my leg on pillows most of the day today. I did get crutches but I can't figure out how to use them - I've never had to use crutches before in my life!

So for the next several days I'm going to be kind of laying low. I'll still pay attention to what I'm eating and I can do some upper body workouts, but I won't be able to do much in the way of cardio and definitely no lower body workouts.

A New Way of Eating Begins Sunday

I'm going grocery shopping on Saturday to get myself the foods I need to start my new eating programme. I'm not calling it a diet because the word "diet" generally carries a negative connotation and whatever I do to lose weight is going to be a lifestyle change. To me, a diet is something you go on for a finite period of time. I need to make long-term changes.

At this point, it's not just about my health, which of course is the main priority. I mean, I'm at an age where things will start creeping up on me. I don't want to get diabetes, heart disease, arthritis or any of the other things associated with being overweight. I already have a back problem that is exacerbated by my excess weight.

Frankly, I'm physically uncomfortable. I'm constantly hot, everything feels tight on me and I'm tired of sweating all the time. I haven't worn shorts in 25 years. I haven't worn short sleeved shirts in at least 10 years. My feet and ankles constantly swell and as a result I have trouble getting shoes to fit (thank God for Birkenstocks!). I have indentations in my shoulders from my bra straps and red welts on my sides under my arms from where the wires poke me. For all of you who want bigger boobs, I'm here to tell you it's not all it's cracked up to be.

So yes, I am doing this for my health. I want to be a healthy, vibrant woman who looks HOT (as in sexy, not as in dripping with sweat!). But I am also doing it for my own comfort. It would be nice to wear summer clothes and not have to wear jeans all the time.

So, tomorrow evening I'm going to do my FIRM Power Yoga CD for the first time. I watched it and I think I can do it.

I have to remind myself not to be so impatient to lose the weight. I mean, I'd like it to be gone ASAP, of course, but it's going to take time. This weight loss/health journey is a marathon, not a sprint. Slow and steady wins the race. Be the Tortoise! :)

This is really embarrassing...

I know, I know...I've been AWOL for nearly a year...again. I so suck at this weight loss stuff. Part of it is my fault - hey, I'm not above admitting I'm a contributor to my weight issues. But truth be told, a lot of it has to do with my thyroid.

I spent much of the last year in a lethargic stupor. The one word I can use to describe myself over the last twelve months is exhausted. I would wake up in the morning thinking about going to bed at night. I was taking 2-hour naps three to four evenings a week. And much of this lethargy was due to my thyroid.

Not to mention my back issues...thankfully I found a sympathetic chiropractor who is working with me to get me on the road to movement.

I am finally back on my thyroid meds, and my back is starting to feel a bit better, so I am feeling renewed determination. Of course, part of it is just that I feel so...mahoosive.

So, here's the plan - Tosca Reno's Clean Eating program seems like a good one and I am going to give it a go. The whole gist of the program is that you eat food as close to its natural state as possible. In other words, minimally processed. Lots of good, healthy foods. I eat way too much processed stuff so this may initially be a shock to my system but once I start feeling better and seeing progress, it will get easier.

As for fitness, since I haven't been able to do much, I am going to start slowly. I have The FIRM's Power Yoga CD, so I am going to do that until I get some flexibility back and build up some core strength. Once I achieve that, I will start working out with my FIRM CD's again.

Hey, I'm 43...I'm not getting younger. I certainly don't feel, look - or act - my age, but I have been overweight to varying degrees most of my life and it is time to take control of my weight. I am in charge, but I don't want to be large anymore!

Well, it's 2 AM, I'm tired and it's past time for bed. Grocery shopping awaits me later today. I'm going to buy healthy food.

Today's Food

So far today I have just had breakfast and a snack. I'm not much of a lunch person when I'm not working or working at home.

Breakfast -
One onion bagel with 2 tbsp. margarine
Coffee with sugar-free flavored powdered coffee cream (Coffee Mate Sugar Free Hazelnut)

Snack -
About 1 cup of pita chips (Stacy's Pita Chips, Bare Naked flavor, which is lightly salted with sea salt)
Water

That's it. I know, not much. And no protein. I need protein. Maybe I need to invest in some beef jerky.

I don't think I'll be doing any workouts today - my left hip is hurting so bad it's painful to walk. I slept hard on my left side so I think I messed it up with my crappy mattress. I'll give it a rest today and try a ball workout tomorrow.

I'll post the rest of the day this evening.

Gotta do it!

Yeah, I know...it's been over a year. I so suck at this weight loss stuff.

I'm trying, honestly I am, but I just can't seem to do it. Plus my back is seriously out and I can't go to a chiropractor because I am still out of work (for the most part - anyone want to buy some Avon?) and I have no money. Excuses? Sure, maybe they look that way, but YOU try exercising when just bending over to pick up your cat's food bowls causes you to need to sit down for a minute or two before continuing. Any kind of twisting, turning, bending or stooping is problematic.

Anyway, I look like a walrus in a recent photo. Which is not something I aspire to look like. So, I need to figure something out here. Just what it is, I don't know at this point. I have one of those big exercise balls and supposedly they are good for people with bad backs, so I am going to try that workout and see how much I can do. I know if you can strengthen your core it will help your back, so that is my goal with the ball. Provided I can do it.

As for food, I need to do something fairly structured, because I notice if I don't I really have a tendency to stray...far. I don't do well with diets like South Beach, where you cannot eat certain food groups (i.e. bread) for extended periods of time. So I am going to look at The FIRM's 30 Day Diet (which can be extended indefinitely - it is just called the 30 Day Diet because there are 30 days' worth of meal plans), Bob Greene's Best Life Diet and Dr. Oz's YOU on a Diet, and see which one I think I can stick with the best. My biggest problem with diets is I don't like most vegetables, and I hate fish. Money is also an issue, as I don't have much to spend on "special" foods and will need to make due with whatever is in the house at present. Oh yeah, and copious amounts of chocolate usually aren't on the list of foods you can eat.

So for the next couple of days I am going to do a little research to see what diet will be best for me and make honest attempts at exercising. I do not think I am going to do any of The FIRM's workouts right now because I am not sure my back can handle it. Plus I think I am far too fat for The FIRM...maybe when I lose 20-30 pounds I will start up with The FIRM again.

Well, it is late and I am tired so I will sign off for tonight. I will start tracking my food in the morning, even though I will not be following a specific diet plan just yet.

Good night, and sweet skinny dreams...

Not quite a size 8 yet...lol

I am finally back after a long absence. It has been a really rough few months...I seriously fell "off the wagon" but I need to get back on track. I cannot do much in the way of exercise because my back problem came back with a venegance, so I'm trying some very gentle yoga and I'm going to try riding my exercise bike, too. I'm taking an herbal medication called Zyflamend, which is a combination of eight herbs that has been compared in effectiveness to presrciption drugs like Vioxx and Celebrex. Hopefully it works.

Anyway, here is what I have had so far today -

Breakfast:
Two slices of toast with margarine, coffee with sugar-free Coffee Mate

Lunch:
One small apple, one ounce of shaved parmesan cheese; one handful (approx. 10) almonds, iced tea

I'll post dinner and snackies later. Right now I'm planning on having spinach and cheese ravioli for dinner (no sauce, just sprinkled with grated parmesan and Italian herbs) and a spinach salad. I'll probably have baked Lays for a snack this evening.

That's all for now...:)

Getting Serious

Okay, I've been goofing around for too long...it's time for me to get serious here. My first excuse was that I didn't have the right food in the house. Then it was my birthday. Then it was my weekend vacation in Columbus. Now it's Easter.

But Easter will be over Sunday. And then there will be no more excuses...no birthdays coming up on which to have a piece of cake (with the most frosting, of course), no parties or out-of-town weekends to use as reasons not to follow a healthy eating plan.

I have leftover money from my weekend trip - I'm going to go to the grocery store and stock up on what I need to eat healthy. I'm going to follow The FIRM's 30-Day Diet as closely as possible, making subsitutions for foods I don't like or that may be inconvenient (such as cooking something for lunch, since I don't get lunches at work).

No more excuses...if other people who are far heavier and far busier than I am can do it, then so can I.

Another Thought of the Day

And once again it is from Laura from The FIRM:

"It IS important to focus on long term results, but is equally important to enjoy the journey in getting there. I know it is incredibly hard to change life-long habits, and to make choices that are very different than you are used to making; however, I also know that if you make one little positive adjustment in your thinking, you will be able to see your journey in a whole new, and wonderful, light.

If you will take a minute to recognize the enormouos potential and power that are in your hands, and then you take the next minute to decide how you want to use them, you can do anything you want to accomplish. If you will acknowledge to yourself that every step you make in the right direction is worthwhile, and then congratulate yourself on making that step, you will gain confidence and pleasure throughout your entire journey.

You know you will love it when you reach the end of your journey, but why wait to love that?? Love that you are on the journey. Love that you are living the journey. Love that you are able to make the journey. Most importantly love yourself for even thinking about the journey -- you chose to do this, ENJOY it!"

Better day

Today was better than yesterday but for some reason I'm having a really hard time sticking to a healthy eating plan. My mind is set but I find myself doing what I call "mindless eating," which is when you eat something without even realizing what you are eating. Then you have an "Oh crap! I didn't want to eat that!!!" moment.

But so far today:

Breakfast - Southwestern Egg Scramble (my own recipe!! - Egg Beaters to equal 2 eggs, low-fat shredded cheddar cheese, salsa); coffee

Lunch (yes, I actually ate lunch today) - A grilled cheese sandwich made with two slices whole grain bread, 1 tbsp margarine and two slices of low-fat American pasturized processed cheese food.

Dinner will be homemade pizza, made with pizza sauce, low-fat mozzarella cheese, pepperoni slices, onions and mushrooms. I will probably have a yogurt and some fruit (either grapes or an apple...or both) for a snack this evening while watching the Wings game.

No workout tonight - I twisted my ankle yesterday in the parking lot at work and while it's not swollen or bruised, it does hurt and I'm kind of limping. I'll see how it feels tomorrow and if it's still bugging me I'll do some upper body work.

Not a good day

Today was not good...I won't go into details but suffice it to say I won't get any awards for Sticking to My Diet.

No pita chips today at the store in the building so I opted for Combos. Had to eat them early because of a conference call so after the call I was still hungry so down to the store I go again for...another bag of Combos. Dinner was spaghetti and sauce - not bad, unless you do what my mom did and put chunks of kielbasa in the sauce.

But tomorrow is another day (thank you Scarlett O'Hara) so I'll just pick myself up, dust myself off and start all over again.

BTW - Work = CRAP 'Nuff said. >:P

I'm BACK!

I'm back from my mini-vacation to Columbus...I had an absolute BLAST!!! Best time I've had on vacation in a long time. Met some really cool, fun people and of course got to see the Wings...a lot!

I did not stick to any sort of eating plan, other than the plan to just eat whatever I felt like. It was, after all, a vacation and my birthday celebration as well. Really, though, it turned out to not be so bad because we really only ate one "meal" a day. Although would not want to see what the calorie count on the Long Island Iced Tea I had on Friday night was...it was huge.

Anyway, today is the day to get back on track. So far so good:

Breakfast - Two slices of toast with margarine; coffee with fat free cream and Splenda

Snack - French vanilla cappuccino from Tim Horton's

That's all thus far today. We're having meatballs and gravy for dinner tonight. The meatballs are made with lean ground beef and the gravy is fat-free. I think we're having salad, too. I'll finish my food diary for today later on tonight.

A Good Birthday

You know, despite giving myself a break for my birthday, I did pretty good:

Breakfast - Two slices of toast with low-fat peanut butter and honey; coffee

Lunch - A bag of pita chips (6g fat, 130 calories) and a 20 oz. bottle of Diet Rite (no calories)

Dinner - Three manicotti (each about 4 in. long and 1 in. wide, filled with ground beef and various cheeses, topped with a homemade chunky tomato sauce); salad with Italian dressing; a 2 x 2 square of single-layer birthday cake (yellow cake with chocolate frosting); 6 oz. glass of red berry wine

Snack - A (slightly smaller) piece of birthday cake

I did not exercise, however; I'm not real happy with myself for not working out but to be honest, I forgot about it until around 10 PM and I wasn't going to do it then. So tonight I will try to get it in but I am going to be very busy this evening, as I am leaving for Columbus tomorrow morning. I have a short tape called Calorie Killer...if I have time I might try that one but it is, as the title suggests, a killer. If I can get through half of it I'll be happy.

Today so far I've done well:

Breakfast - Two slices of toast with margarine; coffee

Snack - A cupcake from Lloryn

Lunch - (coming up as soon as I post this) Pita chips and Diet Rite

My mom's making chicken and rice for dinner tonight; I'll probably have that with a salad. Not sure of what kind of snack I'll have tonight.

Anyway, that's it for now...got to get back to work.

Not Bad...

Today I did reasonably well with my food -

Breakfast - Omelet (made the same way as previous days), coffee w/Splenda and fat-free coffee cream

Lunch - none

Snack - Starbucks Cinnamon Dolce Latte made with fat free milk, no whipped cream

Dinner - Turkey burger (ground turkey breast meat, onions and mushrooms) on a hamburger bun with Swiss cheese and lite mayonnaise, baked french fries

Snack - baked Cheetos

I did not exercise today because my back was sore and not letting me move very freely. However, I went to my chiropractor this afternoon and mentioned that I have begun working out with the FIRM. He said they are excellent workouts and his wife works out with them. He said she wasn't heavy or anything but that she really firmed up and has muscles now!! He encouraged me to continue with them, but he also said that if I feel that I need two days off between workouts, take two days and not feel guilty.

Tomorrow is my brithday so all bets are off - I'm going to go to T-Ho's and have a French Vanilla cappuccino on my way to work and I'm having my annual birthday dinner of manicotti and BIRTHDAY CAKE!! But I will work out in the evening. ;)

Thought of the Day

"If you are trying to lose weight, or trying to maintain weight loss, one of the best ways to ensure your success is to look at what your motivation is. Try to think beyond the obvious, albeit incredibly important, physical appearance reasons you want to do this. What is it that you really want?

Isn't it that you want to feel good? And, that you want to feel good about yourself? If you have these two things, then you have opened a whole new world of opportunities to focus on the things that matter most to you in your life: your family, your health, your career, ..... your freedom!

Find your motivation, and then set your mind for accomplishment. Focus on what you want and why, and then go for it. Everyday."

~Laura, FIRM Instructor

So-so

I did okay today...didn't really follow the "eating programme" (I'm not too keen on calling it a "diet" because the word alone represents deprivation) mostly because I realized I do have to go out and buy some things.

However, I was pretty good:

Breakfast - Omelet made with 1/2 cup Egg Beaters (equivalent to two eggs), Canadian bacon, onions, low-fat shredded cheddar cheese and Tabasco sauce, cooked in Pam; leftover coffee from yesterday's trip to Dunkin Donuts

Lunch - About a dozen grapes

Dinner - Lean Cuisine Sesame Chicken entree; 8 oz. glass of milk

Snack (at the Mechanics game) - Soft pretzel; cappuccino

Snack (at home) - About 12 baked Cool Ranch Doritos

I also drank two cups of tea (made with Splenda and fat-free coffee cream) and probably three 12 oz. glasses of water.

The reason I only had grapes for lunch is that I had to eat dinner early (like 3:30) because I was going to the Mechanics game, which started at 5 PM, the time I would normally be eating dinner. It is also the reason I had two evening snacks.

I'm not too sore today from yesterday's workout, but I know that generally it hits the second day so I'm expecting to feel it tomorrow. But I'm still going to work out. Also, my back is fine today...nothing more than my usual annoying low-grade soreness.

I'm feeling a bit peckish now, but it's late so I might have a few grapes before I go to bed, but nothing else.

Oh. My. God.

I can't believe I did the whole thing..."Complete Aerobics and Weight Training," that is. Yup, I did the whole DVD!!! :D Of course I had to stop and rest a couple of times and wasn't able to do all the footwork properly, but I did it!! And the even better news is my back held out. It hurts now, though, but tomorrow's a rest day.

So no measurements tonight...I'm too tired. *yawn* Time to put the Fanny Lifter away and go to bed...