So Disappointing

So I weighed myself today...I didn't lose anything. Not. One. Damn. Pound. I am so disappointed! I stood in the shower this morning and cried. Why? Why did I not lose anything, not even half a pound? I stuck to the food plan almost religiously (I ate chicken breast instead of fish and had to swap out a couple of lunches because I don't have access to a refrigerator or microwave at work), and I know those few jelly beans I ate couldn't have caused me not to lose anything.

After I (somewhat) recovered, I came up with a few theories -

1. Lack of exercise. I didn't do as much exercise as the program recommends, mostly because I have a bad ankle and it was hurting me. When I did exercise, I used a stationary bike. I don't have access to a treadmill and the weather was kind of crappy last week to go outside and walk. Plus I find walking to be so incredibly boring, so it takes a bit for me to get motivated to do it.

2. My metabolism. I am hypothyroid, and also I'm prematurely menopausal (I'm 44 and I went through natural menopause at 30). With all my f-ed up hormones, it's probably not surprising I didn't lose weight.

3. My diet. Before I began this program, I would say I was a 50/50 eater - half the time I ate healthy, and half the time I ate crap. But I never consumed huge amounts of anything. So could it be possible that my caloric intake was not much above the 1,500 I'm consuming now? If that's the case, I'm not going to lose weight, because the whole idea is that in order to lose weight you're supposed to use up more calories than you take in. So I would have to use up more calories, ideally through exercise. But geez, I have over 100 pounds to lose. I can't exercise THAT much!! I mean, it takes like an hour of walking to work off 300 calories!! I'd need to walk 12 hours a week to burn off one stinking pound!

I don't know what the answer is, but for now I'm going to follow the plan for another week, and see what happens next Sunday. My mom said maybe my body is just adjusting to the different food. I'm not sure about that. I hope I lose at least three pounds this week, because otherwise, I don't know what else to do.

Okay, So Here's the Deal...

I had just about given up on trying to do anything...I mean, I haven't been successful to this point, so why not just be fat and happy, right?

But then I went shopping for spring clothes and NOTHING fits me! Literally! I have to wear shirts I bought 3-4 years ago because I cannot find a shirt that isn't too small. The deal-breaker was a beautiful cardigan sweater I bought at Lane Bryant. Since I gained some weight over the last year I've been wearing a 22/24 in tops at LB. Unfortunately that size sweater did not fit! I ordered the next size up - 26/28 - and was all set to wear it for Easter, and the night before I tried it on and...it didn't fit!! It was too small - it showed every bulge across my back, the buttons gaped open all the way down the front and the sleeves were too tight.

On top of that, I am going to a Detroit Tigers game with the people I work with next month. Since the player whose name is on my Tigers t-shirt was traded - Ivan Rodriguez - I decided to get a new Tigers shirt. So I waddle on over to JCPenney's team apparel shop and buy 2 Tigers shirts without player names, in a men's XXL. They're too small!! As a matter of fact, as I sit here typing, I'm wearing a men's XXXL t-shirt, and it's really not all too big.

So, about a week and a half ago I just decided I'd had enough. I made a shopping list, went shopping last weekend, weighed myself on Sunday (a number which shall remain known only to me and God, at least for now) and on Monday I changed the way I now eat. I'm not saying "diet" because it sounds like deprivation to me. And I've done quite well so far - I've not had any candy, chocolate or other "bad" foods, aside from about 12 Jelly Belly's. I'm eating a lot of fruit, I've discovered Greek yogurt (it's so yummy, but too rich to eat like regular yogurt, with fruit and such) and I'm actually eating vegetables, too.

I am actually amazed at how easy it has been for me. On Thursday, I thought, I haven't had any candy or cookies or chips or any of that kind of stuff in four days, and I don't really miss it. But temptation still exists - the hardest thing for me has been not really snacking at night, and keeping my paws out of the candy bowls at work. I just make sure I have my snacks planned out ahead of time so I'm not tempted to grab the first thing I see.

Tomorrow morning is my first weigh-in since I started and hopefully I will have lost some weight. I'll post the results tomorrow evening.