Monday, December 29, 2008

Sugar, Sugar Everywhere

One of our holiday traditions is making about 1,324,987 kinds of cookies. Okay, maybe not quite that many - more like half a dozen - but at this time a year it certainly seems like it. The problem is, they're all good, yummy, tempting and not exactly what a fat girl trying to lose weight should be eating.

I've actually been pretty good with the cookies this year - I'm enjoying them, but not eating too many. It's not just the cookies, however - there's fudge, too, and we all got chocolate candy in our stockings (I admit, part of that is my fault, but Ghiradelli comes out with pecan pie and peppermint bark flavored squares this time of year and I can't resist). Plus, there's the chocolate cheesecake my sister made for Christmas Eve dinner and the trifle - with homemade custard - she made for Christmas Day dinner (no, my sister's name is not Martha).

The same thing happens every year between Christmas and New Year's - this is the point where I get sugared-out. I seriously think if I eat one more cookie I'm going to go into a diabetic coma. But then my mom says to me yesterday, "You're not eating any of the butter nut balls. I left the powdered sugar off just for you." Guilt! She and my father do this all the time!

My dad has a major sweet tooth and has a frequent shopper card from Entenmann's. He knows I like their crumb cake, so he buys it for me -without me asking him to, by the way - then gets angry when I don't eat it. No matter how many times I tell my family that I am trying to stay away from stuff like that, as best I can, they keep pushing it on me, then make me feel like a bad daughter when I don't eat it. And the kicker is, last month my dad said to me, "You'd better start losing some of that weight." WHAT?!?

I've already informed my mother that I'm going to start eating healthy and clean (I'm not calling it a diet - it's a lifestyle) after the new year and to not be offended when I turn down her fried chicken. But asking my dad not to buy baked goods is an exercise in futility. I'll just give them back to my mom. My dad will be none the wiser.

Friday, December 26, 2008

Reality Bites

Okay, I know it's been for-freaking-ever since I posted. I mean, I was only in Traverse City for four days, but I haven't posted in three months. Ugh. I have fallen so far off the fitness wagon that I can't even see it anymore. But now that it's post-Christmas and New Year's is just around the corner, it's time to re-commit to my programme and get back on track.

My renewed vigor didn't come out of the blue - it had an impetus. I was Christmas shopping at Nordstrom and had to go to the ladies room. If you've ever been in the bathrooms at Nordstrom you know they're very posh - there are two rooms, basically, a "lounge" area with upholstered chairs and a sofa, and a "stall room" with the toilets. At the far end of the stall room, there is a full-length mirror. I walked into the stall room and saw my full-length image from about a 15-foot distance.

It stopped me dead in my tracks. I walked out of the house that morning feeling kind of cute. I was wearing a gray and white long sleeve t-shirt, a black hooded sweatshirt, jeans and Crocs. My reflection, however, looked anything but cute. I looked like a tired, overweight, middle-aged mom. Sigh.

That's not what I want to look like. I looked heavier than I thought I was. My cute "pob" haircut made me look older than I am. I was not happy with how I looked. At all. It was quite a shock.

So, the holiday feeding frenzy is nearly over, and a new year is almost upon us, bringing with it new hopes. I'm going to let myself enjoy the rest of the holiday season and then I'm getting serious. In fact, I will probably have next Friday off work, and I'm already planning a grocery shopping trip to get all kinds of natural, healthy foods for myself.

And I'm growing my hair out.