Monday, December 28, 2009

Okay, so Quiznos is not a Diet Food...

...but it is so yummy! My boss buys us lunch each Monday, and today it was Quiznos.

I've got to figure out how I'm going to incorporate Free Lunch Mondays into the eating plan, come next week. *think, think*

Saturday, December 26, 2009

New Year, New Challenges = New (and Better) Me!

Well, once again here I am at the end of a year, no better off - and no more closer to being fit - than I was 365 days ago. But I'm out of excuses now. I know how to eat, I know I need to exercise, but I just don't do it. Why? I don't know, except to say that I get frustrated at my lack of progress when I do it.

My wonky back has been well documented here, and it's only getting worse. Probably because my weight isn't coming down. But you try exercising when it's painful to put on your socks.

But as I said, I'm out of excuses. I'm having a very difficult time finding any clothes to fit me, not to mention look good, and frankly I'm tired of wearing jeans and long sleeve shirts all year round because I'm ashamed to show my arms and legs. I hate the way I feel. But you want to know a huge chunk of my motivation? My best friend's wedding!

Yes, my best friend Lori is getting married in October 2010. Lori's not a small girl herself, but she is much smaller than I am. Thankfully, her choices of bridesmaids represent a wide range of body types, from very thin to very, ahem, full-figured. I'd prefer to be one of the bridesmaids on the thinner side, or at least in the middle. And yes, I know a wedding is all about the bride, but dammit I want to be a hot bridesmaid!!! And I want a date for the wedding!!!

My main motivation is, however, my health, which has been fairly good to this point. Aside from my thyroid, my hormonal issues and my back, overall I'm pretty healthy for a fat girl in her mid-40's. But I know things can change fairly quickly and I want to try to prevent that from happening. So, losing weight is not a New Year's resolution, or even a's a priority.

Here's the plan - For the first month, I'm going to follow a 30-day jump start diet, followed by a clean-eating way of life (notice I didn't say "diet" - I believe this must become a way of life for me). I am going to be trying new recipes and experimenting with new foods and ways of cooking. I'm also going to start exercising (seriously, I am...okay now, y'all can stop laughing). I have to take it slow at first, because I am the definition of couch potato, but I am going to do it. I have to.

My goals for 2010 are:
By March 31 - rid my body of 25 pounds
By June 30 - 50 pounds
By September 30 75 pounds
By October 15 (or Lori's wedding day, whichever is first) - 80 pounds
By December 31 - 100 pounds.

Yes, I want to lose 100 pounds in 12 months. I realize this looks rather ambitious, and perhaps it is - my biggest weight loss to date was 30 pounds, and that took me nine months to do, although I didn't exercise. So if I only lose 80-90 I won't beat myself up.

There it is. I'm going to do my darndest to stick to it. I will post here periodically on my progress., including photos!

So belated Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to everyone. May it be a happy - and healthy - 2010 for all of us!

Sunday, May 03, 2009

Do Over

Well, this week sucked. I got really off track early and couldn't seem to get back on track no matter how hard I tried. So I am going to do Week 2 over, starting tomorrow, or rather, later today. I don't have to go grocery shopping because I really didn't eat the food I was supposed to. *blushes with embarrassment*

So, I'm off to bed to begin Week 2 anew...

Sunday, April 26, 2009

So Disappointing

So I weighed myself today...I didn't lose anything. Not. One. Damn. Pound. I am so disappointed! I stood in the shower this morning and cried. Why? Why did I not lose anything, not even half a pound? I stuck to the food plan almost religiously (I ate chicken breast instead of fish and had to swap out a couple of lunches because I don't have access to a refrigerator or microwave at work), and I know those few jelly beans I ate couldn't have caused me not to lose anything.

After I (somewhat) recovered, I came up with a few theories -

1. Lack of exercise. I didn't do as much exercise as the program recommends, mostly because I have a bad ankle and it was hurting me. When I did exercise, I used a stationary bike. I don't have access to a treadmill and the weather was kind of crappy last week to go outside and walk. Plus I find walking to be so incredibly boring, so it takes a bit for me to get motivated to do it.

2. My metabolism. I am hypothyroid, and also I'm prematurely menopausal (I'm 44 and I went through natural menopause at 30). With all my f-ed up hormones, it's probably not surprising I didn't lose weight.

3. My diet. Before I began this program, I would say I was a 50/50 eater - half the time I ate healthy, and half the time I ate crap. But I never consumed huge amounts of anything. So could it be possible that my caloric intake was not much above the 1,500 I'm consuming now? If that's the case, I'm not going to lose weight, because the whole idea is that in order to lose weight you're supposed to use up more calories than you take in. So I would have to use up more calories, ideally through exercise. But geez, I have over 100 pounds to lose. I can't exercise THAT much!! I mean, it takes like an hour of walking to work off 300 calories!! I'd need to walk 12 hours a week to burn off one stinking pound!

I don't know what the answer is, but for now I'm going to follow the plan for another week, and see what happens next Sunday. My mom said maybe my body is just adjusting to the different food. I'm not sure about that. I hope I lose at least three pounds this week, because otherwise, I don't know what else to do.

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Okay, So Here's the Deal...

I had just about given up on trying to do anything...I mean, I haven't been successful to this point, so why not just be fat and happy, right?

But then I went shopping for spring clothes and NOTHING fits me! Literally! I have to wear shirts I bought 3-4 years ago because I cannot find a shirt that isn't too small. The deal-breaker was a beautiful cardigan sweater I bought at Lane Bryant. Since I gained some weight over the last year I've been wearing a 22/24 in tops at LB. Unfortunately that size sweater did not fit! I ordered the next size up - 26/28 - and was all set to wear it for Easter, and the night before I tried it on didn't fit!! It was too small - it showed every bulge across my back, the buttons gaped open all the way down the front and the sleeves were too tight.

On top of that, I am going to a Detroit Tigers game with the people I work with next month. Since the player whose name is on my Tigers t-shirt was traded - Ivan Rodriguez - I decided to get a new Tigers shirt. So I waddle on over to JCPenney's team apparel shop and buy 2 Tigers shirts without player names, in a men's XXL. They're too small!! As a matter of fact, as I sit here typing, I'm wearing a men's XXXL t-shirt, and it's really not all too big.

So, about a week and a half ago I just decided I'd had enough. I made a shopping list, went shopping last weekend, weighed myself on Sunday (a number which shall remain known only to me and God, at least for now) and on Monday I changed the way I now eat. I'm not saying "diet" because it sounds like deprivation to me. And I've done quite well so far - I've not had any candy, chocolate or other "bad" foods, aside from about 12 Jelly Belly's. I'm eating a lot of fruit, I've discovered Greek yogurt (it's so yummy, but too rich to eat like regular yogurt, with fruit and such) and I'm actually eating vegetables, too.

I am actually amazed at how easy it has been for me. On Thursday, I thought, I haven't had any candy or cookies or chips or any of that kind of stuff in four days, and I don't really miss it. But temptation still exists - the hardest thing for me has been not really snacking at night, and keeping my paws out of the candy bowls at work. I just make sure I have my snacks planned out ahead of time so I'm not tempted to grab the first thing I see.

Tomorrow morning is my first weigh-in since I started and hopefully I will have lost some weight. I'll post the results tomorrow evening.

Friday, February 27, 2009

Diet, interrupted

Sometimes life interferes with the best laid plans.

So it goes with my fitness/weight loss plans. The last month and a half has been difficult for me. On January 24 my dad fell and broke his hip. He had surgery the next day and was in hospital for a week, then transferred to an in-patient rehab facility. So, since January 31, my life has been work and visiting my dad. No time to really cook anything healthy, because I work 50 miles away from where the rehab facility is located.

Then, on January 30, I got into a car accident. I'm fine, but my car was damaged and had to be fixed. Usually when my car needs repairs, I borrow my mom's car, but with my dad in the rehab facility, she was going to see him every day and obviously needed her car. So I had to rent - for a week. I'd never rented a car before and didn't realize how expensive it is!!

Right when this happened, my hours at work got cut. I went from working 30 hours a week, to 22, to 18. Just when I needed the money most - my car insurance doesn't have rental coverage, so I had to pay out-of-pocket.

And wait...there's more. Last week I had flu. Ugh. I was so sick for two solid days. The first day I slept almost all day, getting out of bed only to go to the bathroom to puke and poop.

Now for the good news - my dad is coming home tomorrow, my car is fixed, and this week my work hours were back up to 30. :) Things are looking up.

Which means...I'm recommitting myself to my program - again! In fact, I bought some new exercise DVD's last week end and I'm considering buying a new bike - my first in 30 years - to tool around the neighborhood once the weather breaks.

And I will TRY to post here more often! Things seem to be settling down and returning to normal, for the most part, so I'm going to have more time to concentrate on myself and do what I need to do to get healthy.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Another thought...

Maybe if I start posting what I eat, I'll be more accountable.

So starting tomorrow, I'm going to do just that. Actually, that's really how this blog got started - my best friend Lori and I were both trying to lose weight, and we started blogs as sort of online food diaries to let each other know what we were eating and how we were doing. So I guess I'm kind of going back to my roots. LOL

A couple of weeks in

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. Or should I say, it was the best of intentions, and it was the worst of times. LOL

Yeah, not going too well for me at the moment. I just can't seem to pick up any momentum. I'm doing the same thing I've done in the past - breakfast starts out really well, lunch is okay, the rest of the work day is fine, then dinner and the evening happens...and I start snacking.

It's not how much I eat, it's what I eat. I mean, I have a container of plain low-fat yogurt in the fridge and frozen berries in the freezer so I could make a really yummy parfait, but instead I grab the mini Hershey bars or the Jelly Bellys. And the thing is, I'd really much rather have the yogurt. Why do I not take the time to do that for myself?

I crave comfort foods. Yogurt is not a comfort food, at least not for me. Chocolate is a comfort food. I watched Oprah's web cast with Bob Greene on Monday night and they said usually if you're an emotional eater (which I know I am) it's because something is lacking in your life. Well, it doesn't take a genius to figure out what's lacking in my life - love.

True confession time here - I have never been in love. I've been in lust, and I've been in like, but I've never been in love. I mean, I have a family and friends that love me, but I'm talking about the kind of love between a woman and a man. Friends and family just aren't a subsitute for that. So I try to fill the void with comfort foods - creamy, rich, mostly chocolatey, gooey foods that some people may say are better than sex.

Oprah and Bob also had you draw a circle and divide it into pie-pieces, with each representing an area of your life - family, work, relationships, etc. Then you had to put a + or a - in each pie piece, depending on whether that area was currently working for you. Mine were all negatives. *sigh* No wonder I can't lose weight!

So, what I need to do is find something to take the place of those comfort foods that I tend to reach for. What I should do is exercise, but sometimes when a chocolate craving hits at 10:45 and I'm going to bed at 11, it just isn't practical.

I think I'll go make a yogurt parfait...:)