Sugar, Sugar Everywhere

One of our holiday traditions is making about 1,324,987 kinds of cookies. Okay, maybe not quite that many - more like half a dozen - but at this time a year it certainly seems like it. The problem is, they're all good, yummy, tempting and not exactly what a fat girl trying to lose weight should be eating.

I've actually been pretty good with the cookies this year - I'm enjoying them, but not eating too many. It's not just the cookies, however - there's fudge, too, and we all got chocolate candy in our stockings (I admit, part of that is my fault, but Ghiradelli comes out with pecan pie and peppermint bark flavored squares this time of year and I can't resist). Plus, there's the chocolate cheesecake my sister made for Christmas Eve dinner and the trifle - with homemade custard - she made for Christmas Day dinner (no, my sister's name is not Martha).

The same thing happens every year between Christmas and New Year's - this is the point where I get sugared-out. I seriously think if I eat one more cookie I'm going to go into a diabetic coma. But then my mom says to me yesterday, "You're not eating any of the butter nut balls. I left the powdered sugar off just for you." Guilt! She and my father do this all the time!

My dad has a major sweet tooth and has a frequent shopper card from Entenmann's. He knows I like their crumb cake, so he buys it for me -without me asking him to, by the way - then gets angry when I don't eat it. No matter how many times I tell my family that I am trying to stay away from stuff like that, as best I can, they keep pushing it on me, then make me feel like a bad daughter when I don't eat it. And the kicker is, last month my dad said to me, "You'd better start losing some of that weight." WHAT?!?

I've already informed my mother that I'm going to start eating healthy and clean (I'm not calling it a diet - it's a lifestyle) after the new year and to not be offended when I turn down her fried chicken. But asking my dad not to buy baked goods is an exercise in futility. I'll just give them back to my mom. My dad will be none the wiser.

Reality Bites

Okay, I know it's been for-freaking-ever since I posted. I mean, I was only in Traverse City for four days, but I haven't posted in three months. Ugh. I have fallen so far off the fitness wagon that I can't even see it anymore. But now that it's post-Christmas and New Year's is just around the corner, it's time to re-commit to my programme and get back on track.

My renewed vigor didn't come out of the blue - it had an impetus. I was Christmas shopping at Nordstrom and had to go to the ladies room. If you've ever been in the bathrooms at Nordstrom you know they're very posh - there are two rooms, basically, a "lounge" area with upholstered chairs and a sofa, and a "stall room" with the toilets. At the far end of the stall room, there is a full-length mirror. I walked into the stall room and saw my full-length image from about a 15-foot distance.

It stopped me dead in my tracks. I walked out of the house that morning feeling kind of cute. I was wearing a gray and white long sleeve t-shirt, a black hooded sweatshirt, jeans and Crocs. My reflection, however, looked anything but cute. I looked like a tired, overweight, middle-aged mom. Sigh.

That's not what I want to look like. I looked heavier than I thought I was. My cute "pob" haircut made me look older than I am. I was not happy with how I looked. At all. It was quite a shock.

So, the holiday feeding frenzy is nearly over, and a new year is almost upon us, bringing with it new hopes. I'm going to let myself enjoy the rest of the holiday season and then I'm getting serious. In fact, I will probably have next Friday off work, and I'm already planning a grocery shopping trip to get all kinds of natural, healthy foods for myself.

And I'm growing my hair out.

Hitting the road...

Tomorrow morning I'm heading to Traverse City for Red Wings Training Camp!! I'm kind of nervous because I'm driving alone - I've never driven that far by myself before, because the only time I drive that far is when I'm going on vacation and I don't go on vacation alone. But I'll be meeting lots of friends up there, so it's all good!

Needless to say, the diet is getting suspended until Tuesday. I haven't been able to exercise at all because my ankle is still sore and now my left heel has started to hurt, like it used to when I had heel spurs. Ugh! I'm falling apart.

But when I get back I'm really going to be getting on track again! I want to go to Toronto for Stevie's HOF induction in November 2009 and I don't want to go looking like this!

I will blog about my adventures when I get back...maybe I'll get the chance to have coffee with Chris Chelios this time!

Still Frustrated...

It's been a week since I sprained my ankle and I'm still limping. Not as badly as I had up until today, but it still hurts and I can't walk normally yet. So exercising is out.

I can at least get around, though, unlike last weekend where I just sat around with my foot elevated on pillows, avoiding walking unless I absolutely had to...like having to pee.

So my guess is, I won't be able to start exercising until sometime next week. That'll be two weeks without any exercise. The miniscule amount of momentum I built up before I sprained my ankle is gone.

Ow.

Whoops!

Well, two weeks in and I'm doing so-so. I don't think I've lost any weight, though. I've done some exercising, but as of yesterday I was forced to lay off it for at least a week - I tripped on some uneven concrete and severely sprained my ankle. It's not very swollen but it's really sore and painful. I've been sitting with my leg on pillows most of the day today. I did get crutches but I can't figure out how to use them - I've never had to use crutches before in my life!

So for the next several days I'm going to be kind of laying low. I'll still pay attention to what I'm eating and I can do some upper body workouts, but I won't be able to do much in the way of cardio and definitely no lower body workouts.

A New Way of Eating Begins Sunday

I'm going grocery shopping on Saturday to get myself the foods I need to start my new eating programme. I'm not calling it a diet because the word "diet" generally carries a negative connotation and whatever I do to lose weight is going to be a lifestyle change. To me, a diet is something you go on for a finite period of time. I need to make long-term changes.

At this point, it's not just about my health, which of course is the main priority. I mean, I'm at an age where things will start creeping up on me. I don't want to get diabetes, heart disease, arthritis or any of the other things associated with being overweight. I already have a back problem that is exacerbated by my excess weight.

Frankly, I'm physically uncomfortable. I'm constantly hot, everything feels tight on me and I'm tired of sweating all the time. I haven't worn shorts in 25 years. I haven't worn short sleeved shirts in at least 10 years. My feet and ankles constantly swell and as a result I have trouble getting shoes to fit (thank God for Birkenstocks!). I have indentations in my shoulders from my bra straps and red welts on my sides under my arms from where the wires poke me. For all of you who want bigger boobs, I'm here to tell you it's not all it's cracked up to be.

So yes, I am doing this for my health. I want to be a healthy, vibrant woman who looks HOT (as in sexy, not as in dripping with sweat!). But I am also doing it for my own comfort. It would be nice to wear summer clothes and not have to wear jeans all the time.

So, tomorrow evening I'm going to do my FIRM Power Yoga CD for the first time. I watched it and I think I can do it.

I have to remind myself not to be so impatient to lose the weight. I mean, I'd like it to be gone ASAP, of course, but it's going to take time. This weight loss/health journey is a marathon, not a sprint. Slow and steady wins the race. Be the Tortoise! :)

This is really embarrassing...

I know, I know...I've been AWOL for nearly a year...again. I so suck at this weight loss stuff. Part of it is my fault - hey, I'm not above admitting I'm a contributor to my weight issues. But truth be told, a lot of it has to do with my thyroid.

I spent much of the last year in a lethargic stupor. The one word I can use to describe myself over the last twelve months is exhausted. I would wake up in the morning thinking about going to bed at night. I was taking 2-hour naps three to four evenings a week. And much of this lethargy was due to my thyroid.

Not to mention my back issues...thankfully I found a sympathetic chiropractor who is working with me to get me on the road to movement.

I am finally back on my thyroid meds, and my back is starting to feel a bit better, so I am feeling renewed determination. Of course, part of it is just that I feel so...mahoosive.

So, here's the plan - Tosca Reno's Clean Eating program seems like a good one and I am going to give it a go. The whole gist of the program is that you eat food as close to its natural state as possible. In other words, minimally processed. Lots of good, healthy foods. I eat way too much processed stuff so this may initially be a shock to my system but once I start feeling better and seeing progress, it will get easier.

As for fitness, since I haven't been able to do much, I am going to start slowly. I have The FIRM's Power Yoga CD, so I am going to do that until I get some flexibility back and build up some core strength. Once I achieve that, I will start working out with my FIRM CD's again.

Hey, I'm 43...I'm not getting younger. I certainly don't feel, look - or act - my age, but I have been overweight to varying degrees most of my life and it is time to take control of my weight. I am in charge, but I don't want to be large anymore!

Well, it's 2 AM, I'm tired and it's past time for bed. Grocery shopping awaits me later today. I'm going to buy healthy food.